Gertrude Himmelfarb’s Victorian Fantasies

I know nothing of the times of the day or the days of the year

I’m Himmelfarb-Haversham of Charles Dickens my dear

Join me on a broom stick to old London without fear

I’ll be Mr. Newt’s haughty hag of a seer


I’ll wear grand clothes and take tea with the queen

And together we’ll bitch, venting blue-blooded spleen

About the East End such a dastardly scene

Those riotous workers who we love to demean


And while we drink tea with our pinkies extended

And praise Herbert Spencer so well-recommended

Our system of class so staunchly defended

All of India unwillingly appended


We’ll flick our ashes on the downtrodden poor

And step on wretched beggars groveling on the floor

We’ll busy our selves with fine galas galore

And sympathy and love we’ll simply deplore



Copyright, David Gottfried, 1995


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