The Onset of Erections: Straight Men versus Gay Men and What it Means

At what age do most boys first start to experience erections.  I have a hunch that many gay men experienced their first erections at  a very early age, often at ages 5 through 7.  I think this may be the case because I have distinct memories of strong erections at ages 5 and 6; indeed, I  used to plan sexual play times when I would lock myself in my room, surround myself with the objects which incited penile pleasure, and masturbate myself.  Also, quite a few gay men whom I have known recount a very precocious onset of sexual feeling, and by sexual feeling I mean feeling in the genitals; I am not using the term in the expansive sense that Freud used in which all sorts of pulls or affections between people were deemed in some way or another to be libidinous.  Of course, it might seem a bit presumptuous to extrapolate from myself and a few friends to homosexuals in general, but then again Freud, after deciding that Little Hans suffered from castration fear from  his Father, extrapolated to all little boys all over the  world and said that they too feared that their Fathers would destroy their manhood.

My conversations with my straight friends lead me to believe that very few of them had conscious sexual feelings, and erections, toward females, prior to the age of eight.

If I am correct, and if gay men tend to experience their first erections at an earlier age, this might teach us to reconsider some of the ascendant or at least contemporary notions regarding the etiology of male homosexuality, i.e., the notion that the phenomenon is inborn.   If it is inborn, we might infer that the  biological or genetic difference, if there is such a thing, between gay men and straight men cannot be ascribed to the belief that gay men have an inborn deficit of masculinity since they are getting hard-ons before straight men.  The ability to get hard-ons is inextricably linked to manhood and if gay men are getting hardons before straight men than they are more manly than straight men.

In any event, I think that some homosexuals might be gay because they first found stimulation at a very early age.  At tender ages, such as 5 and 6, a boy is in no way  a man, or a forceful, virile figure, and as such it is dubious that he will think of himself in such a way.  At that age, the experience of having his anus wiped, after he has defecated, is still fresh in his mind.  And so if a 5 or 6 year old were to experience erections, it is dubious that he will associate it with commanding fantasies congruent with mounting and penetrating a woman; such ideation would be preposterous.  Instead, he is more apt to think of receiving pleasure in a manner in which he is coddled, cossetted and babied.  This in and of itself has nothing to do with effeminacy, or is at least qualitatively different from effeminacy, and is all about the yearning to be passive and unpressured.

Ironically, gay men may be gay because they are, at the very beginning, more virile, at least in  a biological sense, than straight men.


Copyright, David Gottfried, 2012


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