Why Conservatives smoke Marlboros and Decry every other Brand of cigarette

 

WHY CONSERVATIVES SMOKE MARLBOROS AND DECRY EVERY OTHER BRAND OF CIGARETTES

 

I want the classic glory of Marlboro

It’s off to war with a tally ho

I’m a wasp with such a deadly blow

A Christian soldier against the foe

 

Spare me the Camel of the Orient

Unwashed heathen who don’t repent

Saladin’s slaughters and our lament

For Crusader blood, like rivers spent

 

And if I see a box of Newport

It’s menthol miasma is like a retort

To letters, learning — the mind’s consort

Be off — you breying subway sort

 

I do not approve of Parliament

The whigs, like twigs, spineless, bent

Their somber clothes should all be rent

Behold my royal garment

 

Virgina Slims is a prickly dame

Gaudy and gauche, reaching for fame

Like Diana all passions aflame

The girl deserves discipline, blame

 

Copyright, David Gottfried, 1997

 

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