Political Recipes

 

How to make a Hillary Clinton:

 

Trim and De-fat one large Bella Abzug

Sweeten with sugar and cinnamon

Glaze with Martha Stewart all purpose

bleaching and blonding sauce

Refrigerate until chilled

 

 

How to cook a Barbara Jordan:

Combine two parts hot Bette Davis Sauce

With one part cool JFK

Darken with four tablespoons of creme de Vernon Jordan

extract

Mix with one part Milicent Fenwick emulsifying agent and

pretentiousness enhancer

 

How to Make a Dan Quayle:

 

Lobotomize one small JFK

Fry in lard and serve with Strom Thurmond hushpuppies

 

How to Make a Bill Clinton:

 

Castrate one overweight Lyndon Johnson

Add one pint Jimmy Carter moderating agent

Stir in one quart of Gomer Pyle Southern unctuousness

Mix well, garnish with mushroom

 

Copyright, David Gottfried, 1996

 

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