Political Recipes


How to make a Hillary Clinton:


Trim and De-fat one large Bella Abzug

Sweeten with sugar and cinnamon

Glaze with Martha Stewart all purpose

bleaching and blonding sauce

Refrigerate until chilled



How to cook a Barbara Jordan:

Combine two parts hot Bette Davis Sauce

With one part cool JFK

Darken with four tablespoons of creme de Vernon Jordan


Mix with one part Milicent Fenwick emulsifying agent and

pretentiousness enhancer


How to Make a Dan Quayle:


Lobotomize one small JFK

Fry in lard and serve with Strom Thurmond hushpuppies


How to Make a Bill Clinton:


Castrate one overweight Lyndon Johnson

Add one pint Jimmy Carter moderating agent

Stir in one quart of Gomer Pyle Southern unctuousness

Mix well, garnish with mushroom


Copyright, David Gottfried, 1996



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s