A Parody of the 2004 Presidential Election

A Parody of the 2004 Presidential Election



Howard Dean is venting spleen

Reminiscent of clean for Gene

He demonstrates the war’s obscene

But seems completely naive, green


Ms. Carol Moseley Braun

Hasn’t either brains or brawn

Just a cipher and a spawn

Of Shirley Chisolm’s splendid dawn


Al Sharpton is our buffoon

He screams and shouts like a saloon

His rhythmic speech is in tune

His mind’s as massive as a prune


Richard Gephardt wants health for all

And sounds to me like seconol

His recitations can’t enthrall

When he talks he seems to crawl


Mr. Graham keeps copious notes

On every fact he duly dotes

He stores them up until he bloats

A mind of arcane things and quotes


Kucinich is a kind of witch

Speaking in a fevered pitch

Sowing enmity stitch by stitch

He’ll be pacified when he’s rich


Lieberman’s no oberman

Just a mensch, a gentleman

But what pray tell is his plan

Just Bush-lite sans the klan


John Kerry, patrician, pure

Finds many things he does abjure

And in his speech he will obscure

The compromises that nix the cure


John Edwards has flowing hair

That apes the locks of Bobby fair

Professes to care for our despair

His pabulum makes me want to swear


But Rumsfeld and his little rascals

Woolfowitz and assorted jackals

Herald war with happy cackles

Their raging hate simmers, crackles


And King George is feeling swell

He gives us all the rebel yell

The poor consigned to hottest hell

The liberty bell sounds its death knell


Copyright, David Gottfried, 2003


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