Satire on the 1996 Presidential Candidates

Doleful Dole so forelorn

Shows his scorn like Monday morn

He always eats his Kansas corn

Grim and Glum his life’s lovelorn

Cracker Gram likes his grits

But he hates his wife’s small tits

So he looks for tarts sans wits

To star in pornorgraphic flics

Pat Buchanan’s rough and wild

And truly hates the time and mild

Did you see he has no child

He’s really one with Oscar Wilde

Mister Lugar’s really swell

He says his flannel shirt does smell

He’ll give you all the rebel yell

He takes millions and gives us hell

Allan Keyes is pretty keen

On family values, keeping clean

But he really loves to preen

He’s such a screaming drama queen

And now young Forbes is up at bat

He says he wants a tax rate flat

He really wants his chests down pat

He’s gay like Daddy, the little bra

And what’s in Hillary’s bag of tricks

Saws to cut off Republican pricks

You know she’s a dominatrix

Hark her heels thunderous clicks

Copyright, David Gottfried, 1996